Time to get refocused on my weight loss

Once upon a time I underwent gastric bypass surgery. I was very successful for about seven years and then I transitioned back to my old habits. I ran across this article that featured my story in SHAPE Magazine and am hoping that it will serve as a reminder that weight loss is a lifetime journey. Check it out

My Life as a Facebook Narcissist

(Previously titled Facebook: Narcissism or Consociation?)

Recently, a Facebook friend of mine posted a comment on her wall about frustration with people who, in her opinion, are plagued with narcissism:

You can tell the people on FB who are narcissistic (i.e. absolutely in love with themselves) by the number of photos they post OF THEMSELVES!! LMAO! People, we know what you look like. 200 photos showing the same damn thing (YOU) is not interesting or exciting! SMDH!

I don't think that the post was directed at me, but after reading it, I started thinking about this and paused slightly to consider whether my posts were reflecting narcissistic behaviors. Let me say that I work in marketing and have several Facebook profiles that I maintain, so for the purposes of this blog, I am specifically talking about my personal page. 

I love the consociation created by Facebook. I love everything about the friendly connections created and often check the status of friends daily. My favorite thing about Facebook is that it allows people to stay in touch with those who don't get to connect daily. The name "Facebook" in itself describes the point of it all. Seeing photos of "faces" is a joy and gives me great pleasure. I thoroughly enjoy friends who post photos of their children as it allows me to reflect on how much they have grown. My daughter lives over 500 miles away with her dad for a school year. Her step-mom posts pics regularly so that I can feel included in her daily activities. 

Obviously, the point of my friend's post was that people love posting pics of themselves. Lots and lots of pics of themselves. She went on to say in an added comment:

. . . I just don't feel the need to take hundreds of photos of myself & slap them all over my FB profile. It comes across as self-absorbed & narcissistic, and contrary to what the poster may think, it makes for a highly uninteresting FB profile.

While I completely get her point. I find it funny that she has been my one Facebook friend that I have longed to see in photos. You see, this friend is a reconnect from my high school years. When I first got the friend request, I'll be honest in saying that I couldn't quite remember the connection. I ran to look her up in our 1987 yearbook and had that "aha" moment: "Oh yeah, I remember her". I accepted the friend request, excited to see what she'd been up to. I wanted to see what she looked like, not because I'm shallow, but because I was genuinely interested in her life as an adult. At the time, I couldn't find one face photo of her. Every profile pic, had a lion in the place of her face. I thought, "ok, she is a private person". We have been friends on Facebook for a couple of years, and very rarely do I see her face on Facebook. I will say that she is a very interesting person, probably the most interesting of my fb friends. She is well traveled and wise beyond her years. She has a motivational fb page that allows her to share uplifting quotes and tips on living. I have noticed in some of her posts that she has a healthy amount of self love, but I would delight in seeing more of her face. While I appreciate her love for the lion species, it makes me want to say "you are a beautiful woman, stop hiding behind the lioness!" 

When I see photos of others smiling, it makes me smile. Seeing people happy, makes me happy. When I read posts of my friends going through a rough time, it makes me pause and say a prayer. I checked my own profile, and definitely fit my friend's depiction of a narcissistic person, if you go purely based on the pics posted. I'll accept that label. I even noticed that my blog has a slide show of pics of me with my family. Geez - maybe I need therapy! I'm probably not going to change because I know that my family and some  friends get the same joy that I get from their photos.  

What do you think? Do you consider yourself narcissistic?

Going International

I'm honored to represent Holiday Lanes in the December 2011 issue of INTERNATIONAL BOWLING INDUSTRY MAGAZINE.

Flip to pages 21 - 26 to read more about my super fun job as Marketing Director for Holiday Lanes in Bossier City, Louisiana.

Bowling Pin Art: Creativity Flows for Breast Cancer Awareness

Bowling Pin Art: Creativity Flows for Breast Cancer Awareness

A Homecoming Tradition: Mum's the Word

For any of you that know me personally, you already know that my daughter, Laura, is spending this school year with her dad in Kansas. Although I miss her tremendously, I am happy that she is able to spend time with her family there and still be strong in her self knowing that I love her and am OK with her being apart from me.

I received a text saying they don't have the traditional "homecoming mum" corsages in Kansas. My first reaction was "what the heck?!". I've been looking forward to making her homecoming mum for years. The tradition is apparently a Southern thing. The mum is the Pièce de résistance to many Southern girl's homecoming outfits. Typically, the bigger and gaudier, the better.

A homecoming mum consists of the center flower, which can be live or made of silk, three to four feet of streamers with cowbells, ribbons, footballs, and symbolic trinkets relating to the school mascot. Add to the streamers, the name of the person wearing the mum, and their date(if they have one) with stick-on sparkly letters and the mum is complete. Some add plush animals and battery operated light strands to make it as unique as possible. Homecoming mums can be quite expensive. Some pay upwards of $100 for an arrangement that is sometimes bigger than the girl wearing it. In my town, you can even purchase pre-made pieces to add to your corsages at the corner grocery store.

This made me start thinking about homecoming in general.

My first homecoming was at LaGrange Senior High School, freshman year. I still remember the night like it was yesterday. I remember standing in my front yard taking photos with my date - David, and my friends, Rachel, Mike, Chris & Lonnelle. This was before it was popular to have limos for homecoming, but for some reason I can't remember how we got to the dance. I do remember what I wore and being so nervous about my hair and make-up. Back in "the day", girls wore suits with skirt, jacket and hat. I had a charcoal grey suit with subtle pin stripes and of course the high neck frilly shirt. I remember the smells and the night air. I can still hear "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as we danced the night away. When I got home, I put my mum with the purple and white streamers in a clear box and packed it away with all of my other keepsakes. Can you believe I still have that mum somewhere in my attic?

The thought of my daughter not having a homecoming mum makes me sad. I have made several mums over the years for my son's dates, and for friends who didn't have it in them to make or buy one of their own. I have hot glue scars that will never go away. I proudly count them as motherly war wounds. The rug in my living room is set at an angle and one corner secretly hides a blob of homecoming mum hot glue under my couch. Not only is the homecoming mum an integral part of every Southern girl's homecoming wardrobe, it is also a bragging right of mothers throughout Louisiana and other Southern states.

I wish I had thought about making one sooner to mail to Laura. It might have been therapeutic and who knows, maybe Laura could have started a little Southern trend in Kansas. I'm afraid I may have waited too long. Shhh, Mums the word!

Reflecting on my Son

My son, Chase, goes back to college this Saturday to begin his second semester. As I reflect on the past 19 years I am astounded at how quickly it went.

It seems like yesterday when I walked him into Mrs. Fajardo's kindergarten classroom. I remember how grown I thought he was that day. He was happy to start school, while it took everything in me to hold back the tears until I got to the parking lot. That day long ago has been on my mind all week. Each time that I see a little boy, it makes me gasp at how quickly my time with Chase went.

Watching my child grow into a man gives me great honor in being his mom. I know that while I played a part in his upbringing, I can't take all the credit. My parents and sister had a large influence in his life. The bond that he has with my dad is oak strong. There have been many people in our life that have contributed to the man Chase has become. Mr. Brian - his Sunday School teacher, Bro. Barry - our former pastor, his high school history teacher, along with a slew of friends and family. All of these people have lent their time to be a piece of the fabric of his life.

Chase is my oldest child and as a first child myself, I've always felt like I identified with him on many levels. My biggest hope was that he would be nothing like me. I was always introverted and hard on myself. I tried to please everyone and wanted to do everything perfectly. As I observe Chase, I see many of those traits that I had hoped would escape him. But, after thinking about it, I've realized that those traits are also what gives him tremendous compassion for others. It gives him drive to reach goals and it helps him to be humble. While Chase may be a lot like me, his individuality shines. His intellect far surpasses my own and he has a sense of loyalty and honesty that is rare today. His heart and soul shines with a funny mix of sarcasm and wit that balances out the seriousness that he carries. I respect Chase for rising to meet new challenges. He didn't always have any easy time. There were times that I made poor choices for him. Our family unit wasn't always a healthy place to be, but Chase didn't use that as an excuse. He used it to become stronger. His inner strength pushed him to rise above. My heart bursts with pride in knowing that he is a young man of solid character.

Reflecting on my son fills me with pride, happiness, love and hope for his future.

Thank you Chase for being an awesome son!

What started as an experiment . . .

Social media is so much fun and consumes a large part of my life. The list of sites that I have joined is extensive. I am a fan of the obvious Facebook, Twitter, Four Square, GetGlue, and of course the latest, Google+. I often hear people voice worry over the idea of "checking in" on these sites. I've been warned about the dangers of home theft and of course stalking issues. I can't say that it's ever deterred me from earning my Four Square badges or loyalty discounts.

A few weeks ago, my daughter's step-mom, Nicole (who happens to be my friend), invited me to spend a week of "girl-time" on the beautiful beaches of Florida for some relaxation time. I really wanted to go, but did not commit. The girls arrived in Florida on Monday and each day they begged me to come. I continued to say no. Since my daughter had left the week before to spend a school year with her Dad and Nicole, I really started missing her. I decided that I would show up as a surprise. I did not know where the girls were staying in Florida, but if I asked for directions it would spoil the surprise. I noticed on Nicole's Facebook page that she checked in when they arrived at the beach. The check-in even included a map. It made me wonder if I would be able to find them on the beach based on the check-in. So, my experiment began.

I hit the road on Friday morning using the check-in location to plug into my iPhone Google Map. 9 hours and some minutes later I arrived in Ft. Walton Beach. I pulled into one of the condo parking lots on the Santa Rosa Boulevard and walked out to the beach. Using a photo that my daughter had taken earlier in the day of her sister, I was able to find the condo building by matching the balcony similarities. I knew that I would find them on the balcony because I called a few minutes before my arrival and was told they were enjoying the view. The first thing that I did was post a picture on my Facebook wall of the beach with a caption "I love the beach" and tagged both Nicole and my daughter, Laura. After a few highly anticipated seconds I had no response. Can you imagine . . . seconds going by with no response on a Facebook post? (HA!) It took me about 5 minutes to spot my daughter on the seventh floor balcony. Yelling her name from the white sands below, she waved back at me like it was no big deal.

Within seconds she realized it was me and let out a "Mommy!" that made me happy that I had made the drive. She ran, no I think she flew, down the stairs within a matter of seconds and literally knocked me to the ground with a hug. She almost made me drop the bottle of wine that I had brought for Nicole from a Louisiana vineyard. That would not have been good!

As I was talking with a very shocked Nicole, we both were not sure if we should be happy that I found them or a little bit scared. Although social media is hip and cool or whatever the "in" word might be, I guess the value of the "check-in" is one to be considered carefully. I knew that I could have just as easily found the girls by making a phone call, but it was so much more fun to drive across several states thinking of ways to surprise them. I spent the week sunning in the beautiful 91 degree weather, while reading tweets and posts about the 107 degree heat back at home. It was a great girls week that started as a fun experiment.