You said you were a Christian, you are nothing but a joke

If you have ever heard me say "I'm a Christian" consider yourself one of the rare few. While it may be true, I do not subscribe to the thought or need to say those three words out loud. In our society, I find that those words are used too loosely. They are often used to prove a point, defend a position or create fear or feelings of superiority. What you may have heard me say is "I'm a Methodist". I sometimes say those words to express my flavor of Christianity. Even so, I don't use it as a means to prove that I am anything but a sinner. Oh have you heard? Christians sin too!

This week I received a barrage of text messages from my ex-husband aimed to tear me down because I had the gall to file for child support. There was one in particular that struck me as quite funny. I was accused of saying I was a Christian. It took me a day or so to process this. Like I said, I don't say this out loud very often. It was an accusation that I use my Christianity as a cover. At first my instinct was to text back some snarky remark, but it dawned on me that these terrible text messages were being sent to instigate a fight and I wasn't going to fight. After not responding to over 15 or so text messages, I got the final text meant to really "get me".

I laughed out loud at this comment. I am not a loser and I am not a *****.  The only thing anyone can find out about what kind of person I really am is that I truly love and care for people. No foolin'! Even this person who is trying to tear me down. I love him too. No, not the kind of romantic love that is shared between a husband and a wife. A kind of love that extends to the father of your child. A kind of love shared between family. That kind of love that sometimes makes you dislike someone so much, at the same time loving them. I don't care that we aren't married anymore. He will always be part of my family.

Now let's put this into perspective . . .

• Yes, I'm a Christian (you heard me say it) but I prefer for it to show in my actions instead of my words.
• Yes, I have done some terrible things in the past. Big sins. The kind of things that you don't want yo' mamma to know about. (Thank God for Grace)
• Yes, sometimes I'm a joke. (Aren't we all?)
• Yes, on some days I am a loser, but on most days, I am a WINNER!
• I live my life everyday trying to improve myself and the lives of those around me.

So, as an open announcement to my ex-husband. Keep sending those ugly texts. They make me laugh. They make me appreciate that I have moved on. They make me realize now more than ever that I can be a Christian, even though I sin every day. Your threats don't scare me.

And to the rest of you who might be reading this, sorry for blog-vomiting all over you. :)